It's been a long 2 months and more since the end of yesteryear... so many things have happened, and at the same time... nothing has changed.
This is what I've been doing for the past 2 months: Surviving NS camp. Putting on a defiant mask, and scowling at every word the instructors there tell me; never letting one word get past my defenses.
For to let them persuade me, is to brainwash me. And I will not permit that. At Serian's NS camp, I saw what Malaysia truly is. A quagmire of racism and corruption. Certain... races treat others like crap, just for the sake of it. The irony: that oppressed race is far more accomplished than the oppressing one.
Yet, they treat us like second-class citizens, only because they were taught so. Only because to their reduced intellect, it is just. Fair. Right. What a tragedy... I went in there mildly racist, and I came out of there extremely racist―that is, racist towards the oppressors!
Now that I'm back, I'm waiting to leave again; a trip to Singapore in the morrow beckons. And another week after the conclusion of that trip, another journey, this time to Lundu. And after that... it's driving lessons, perhaps a part-time job, and surveys for any opportunities to further my studies, although I'm leaning towards F6.
And I think... it's time for me to try being more 'normal'. I believe I have to find someone to be with―as in a lover. Someone. I'm not sure I can pull it off... but I have to try. The question is, who? I suppose only time will tell.
Back towards the topic of NS. I will not say it is good―for that, it certainly is not―but neither is it truly foul. In the end, it provided me with a place to meet new friends, not to mention seeing life as it truly is.
I do not have much more to say. Not that I had anything to say at first. So... this post ends with a couple of pics.
These are the people who suffered 70 days with me, who endured brainwashing and came out unscathed... all of us have a bond that will endure. To me, they are not the last of my teenage friends... they are the first of my adult friends. As great as Chill, Jeff, CY, KJ, Jerk and the others are, we may part someday... despite those years in secondary school, we don't have anything to hold on to―or rather, nothing stable enough to hold on to.
In the end, even stars burn out...
This is what I've been doing for the past 2 months: Surviving NS camp. Putting on a defiant mask, and scowling at every word the instructors there tell me; never letting one word get past my defenses.
For to let them persuade me, is to brainwash me. And I will not permit that. At Serian's NS camp, I saw what Malaysia truly is. A quagmire of racism and corruption. Certain... races treat others like crap, just for the sake of it. The irony: that oppressed race is far more accomplished than the oppressing one.
Yet, they treat us like second-class citizens, only because they were taught so. Only because to their reduced intellect, it is just. Fair. Right. What a tragedy... I went in there mildly racist, and I came out of there extremely racist―that is, racist towards the oppressors!
Now that I'm back, I'm waiting to leave again; a trip to Singapore in the morrow beckons. And another week after the conclusion of that trip, another journey, this time to Lundu. And after that... it's driving lessons, perhaps a part-time job, and surveys for any opportunities to further my studies, although I'm leaning towards F6.
And I think... it's time for me to try being more 'normal'. I believe I have to find someone to be with―as in a lover. Someone. I'm not sure I can pull it off... but I have to try. The question is, who? I suppose only time will tell.
Back towards the topic of NS. I will not say it is good―for that, it certainly is not―but neither is it truly foul. In the end, it provided me with a place to meet new friends, not to mention seeing life as it truly is.
I do not have much more to say. Not that I had anything to say at first. So... this post ends with a couple of pics.
These are the people who suffered 70 days with me, who endured brainwashing and came out unscathed... all of us have a bond that will endure. To me, they are not the last of my teenage friends... they are the first of my adult friends. As great as Chill, Jeff, CY, KJ, Jerk and the others are, we may part someday... despite those years in secondary school, we don't have anything to hold on to―or rather, nothing stable enough to hold on to.
In the end, even stars burn out...
